Dance Husbands and Dance Wives

You may well ask,
"What or Who are Dance Husbands and Dance Wives?"

What do you as a dancer do when your life partner
does not share your interest in dance?

Your story on Dance Partner Relationships could win you
a FREE pair of Prodance shoes. Check the end of this article for details.

Link to Stories

With partner dancing becoming more popular over the last few years, this question is being asked by more and more dancers. You could be dancing Salsa, Tango, Modern Jive [also known as Ceroc], Swing, Rock 'n' Roll, Ballroom or any of the other many styles of partner dancing.

It does not matter if a dancer is in a same-sex relationship or heterosexual relationship, each dance style places its own unique demands on a dancer's life partner and / or dance partner. Always knowing when and how to draw the line in these complex relationships can be extremely stressful to all those involved.

For many dancers, their dance partners are also their life partners, or at least girl or boy friends.
If both sides of the relationship enjoy dancing and are of a similar standard, then more likely than not, it will strengthen the relationship. The lady who writes my first story, showing how dancing
can bring couples closer together and actually strengthen a relationship, is an excellent illustration of this.

But if your Dance Partner and your Life Partner are not the same individual, then your dancing experiences may be more than a little different and definitely more complex than the
experiences of the lady above. What then ........

From my perspective, there certainly appears to be far more Dance Husbands than
there are Dance Wives.

One of the reasons may be that in ongoing heterosexual relationships, a move into partner
dancing is more often than not initiated by women. Most men in the past have tended to be followers into dance rather than initiators. Although this is definitely changing. An exception to this may be when dance classes are taken just prior to a wedding. Single men may also initiate going to dance classes for social reasons, rather than from an inate desire to express themselves through dance. But again, this is changing also.

Part of the reason girls have more affinity towards dance is that in Australia, most girls from the age of 5 years learn Classical Ballet, Jazz and Tap in after school classes for a few years. It is
rare for boys to indulge in this pastime at this age through to puberty, as usually they prefer to ride skateboards, bikes, play footy or indulge in other sports instead.
The reality is there is a difference in leisure activity preferences between most boys and most girls. Dance at this informative age for boys is deemed unboylike.
Please note I am aware that girls do ride skateboards and play sports as well as boys.
As they get older girls are still more likely to take a keener interest in dance, often creating routines with their immediate girlfriends, something that boys would rarely do with their boyfriends.

The Dance Husband is born.......

This usually means by the time they are in their 20's, women in relationships will be far more
likely to have an affinity for dance and then initiate a move into partner dancing than men.
Some men will refuse to follow their partners into dance, so creating a need for a dance
husband, especially as dance expertise rises.
This may often result in the need to find a permanent dance partner.

Dancing for Dancers is not only in the blood, but is hardwired permanently into the brain.

Dancing for Dancers is the most important activity in their lives: they live to dance. Dancing is exciting, enjoyable, artistic, satisfying and a genuine interactive social and sporting activity.

A dancer I know, recently expressed her feelings beautifully and eloquently towards dance in a way, that will certainly resonate with many other dancers.

"I will say that since I have got the dancing bug there is no stopping me from going
dancing whenever I want to. It's like escaping from everyday life and letting all worries and cares just disintegrate into the air the moment I am on the dance floor. I definitely come alive! It is freedom, it is expression and in a really great dance it is the connection with another soul, where every move seems to flow. I am there for the pure joy I get out of dancing."

Truly then, dancing may become a real addiction for those involved.

Most social dancers and dance instructors have their "day job", which apart from paying the day
to day bills, is there primarily to support their "dance habit" each evening.
They live and work to dance.
Studio Owners who have a life partner, by definition usually either work as a "husband and wife" team or live separate work lives as "dancer" and "non-dancer".

Time is short.
Time then becomes very precious.
So how will you use it .........

"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each
moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived." [ Captain Jean-Luc Picard, from the film "Star Trek: Generations.]

"The challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves."
[Steven Covey, author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"]

You will have to be very selective in rationing your time.

For most dancers, life is divided up into Worktime, Dancetime and Non-dance-leisure-time.
[Serious dancers usually are not heavy consumers of alcohol, so I've left out Drinkingtime,
but they do love their coffee.]

Timesharing your life is all about choices.

How you divide your leisure time between Dancetime and Non-dancetime.
How you allocate time.
Time to share.
But to share with whom?

Who gets it?
When do they get it?
How much do they get, when they eventually do get it?
And what is it that they get?
Do they get enough?
And whose turn is it for the next shift?

Your life partner?
Your new baby?
Your kids?
Your boyfriend?
Your girlfriend?
Your television?
Your computer?
Your uni or tafe course?
Your local cafe where you get your regular caffeine hit and an update on the local gossip?
Your business that you just started?
Your non-dancing friends?
Your workmates?
Your sick parents or aging grandparents?
Your dance partner?

For you, these are indeed big questions.
There are many of them and each is important in its own individual way.
So what are you to do and how will you do it?

There will be many questions that need to be addressed if your relationships are going to survive in good condition. So .......
How are your people skills?
Do they need to be be improved?
Do you need to show more sensitivity to the feelings of others in your life, than you do now?
Diplomacy becomes essential and can be either learned the easy way or the hard way.
Any form of time sharing is an art form, where inevitably mistakes will be made.
Relationships will be strained. Tears will flow and tempers will explode. Shoes will be thrown.

Etiquette. Where to draw the line.

Is it possible to breast feed and dance at the same time? [The mind boggles!]
Is it okay to practice dancing at home with your dance partner?
Should your life partner watch you and your dance partner dance?
For you or your life partner, is that asking too much?
Is it okay to massage your dance partner's feet?
Will your dance partner take legal action, if he or she slips on spilt Milo and breaks a leg?
Should the dance partner be invited to dinner at the home?
Or is it easier all round if the partners just never meet.

When difficult choices have to be made, it is very easy to as they say, "screw up".
These situations can be highly emotionally charged and may encourage Jealousy to rear its ugly head :

"Jealousy feeds upon suspicion, and it turns into fury or it ends as soon as we pass from suspicion to certainty”.
[ François de la Rochefoucauld, French classical author,1613-1680 ]

“Nothing is more capable of troubling our reason and consuming our health, than secret notions of jealousy in solitude.”
[ Aphra Behn, English dramatist, novelist, and poet, 1640-1689 ]

"Jealousy is that pain, which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves”.
[ Joseph Addison, English Essayist, Poet, Dramatist and Statesman, 1672-1719 ]

"Jealousy is the great exaggerator."
[ Johann von Schiller, 'The Conspiracy of Fiesco', 1783 ]

“Yet he was jealous, though he did not show it,
For jealousy dislikes the world to know it”
[ Lord Byron, English Romantic poet and satirist, 1788-1824 ]

How well do you think you know your partners? Do you, your dance partner or your non-dance partner identify with any of the above quotes?

Dance Husbands and Dance Wives are infiltrating our space and changing our way of life.

They may look quite ordinary to the casual observer, just like you and me.
You may never know if the person dancing with you or next to you is one - or not.
You could even be one yourself and you didn't even tell me.
I could be one also and not tell you.
You are or you aren't !
Is it really important in the dancing relationship?

Are dance relationships something you can catch, like a virus or getting pregnant?
Would you consider your life partner a casual fling or a permanent part of your life?
Do you have a dance partnership of convenience or is it something more, like Fred and Ginger?
Is having a life partner as well as a dance partner - bigamy?
Is it inevitable that Dance Husbands and Dance Wives will eventually dance to different tunes?

These and more are the BIG questions we all want answered.

Notes for budding writers:
I want, nay I demand your answers and stories to these many perplexing questions concerning Dance Husbands and Dance Wives, so others may learn from your wisdom and also from your mistakes.

Please email me your stories as soon as possible so others may be put
out of their misery by learning THE answers. I will be creating a dedicated webpage to publish these stories, so all can benefit from the collective words of wisdom or perhaps words of disaster.

It's surprising how much clearer relationships can be when you put pen to paper, or
these days keyboard to screen.

One other thing. This is a dance footwear website, so a requirement for each story is that the author must mention dance shoes at least once.

By the way, I may be tempted if there is enough stories, to give away a FREE pair of Prodance shoes to the author of what I and a small panel of judges, deem to be the best story.

You may not thinks so, but your story IS important in the scheme of things. I look forward to reading YOUR story soon.
Now get to it. Start writing.

The easy way is just to write down your thoughts as you think of them and email your story off to me without editing it yourself, letting me do the work for you.
Or, if you have more time to spare, simply start writing whatever comes into your head, letting the form and scope of your writing gently evolve until you have a finished product.
The beauty of the word processor is the ease you can continually edit your work until you are happy with the result. Write and re-write. Write and re-write.
Invariably you will end up with something totally different to your original intentions.
This is one of the great beauties of creative writing.
It is a genuine example of evolution at work.
Even if you have only a basic understanding of English and come from a non-English-speaking background, you can still write a fantastic article.
Interesting writing comes from the heart and soul - not necessarily from the brain.
So don't be afraid, just start writing, and before you know it your literary baby will be born.

Your stories may be of any length, be readable, informative, entertaining and in English. I will even accept continuing stories in chapter or serial form.
Must mention the style of dancing involved.
Whether you are male or female and your age.
Initials, first name or other ID [does not have to be your real name]
Country and City of residence.
Ideally each story will be printed as presented, on this website,
But I do reserve the right to have the last word on what goes to print.
And as they say, no correspondence will be entered into.

*Please email story either as a Word file or as text within the actual email*.

Link to Stories

Contact information:

E-mail: garrya@bigpond.net.au

Garry's Mobile: 0425 279 101

 

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